I am a people pleaser. I want to make everyone happy. I have spent the majority of my life worrying what others think of me. I have gone out of my way to make sure people like me because I just couldn't stand it if I knew someone didn't like me. My life was consumed by thoughts of being good enough. I needed validation from my friends or Luis that I was doing a good job or that I looked good. I never knew how to validate myself or knew if I was doing a good enough job. Frankly, I had ZERO self confidence, no self-esteem, and I really didn't know who I was or what I wanted.
Well no more my friends, no more. Through this process of losing weight I am discovering my voice within. I look at myself in the mirror, really look and tell myself positive things. Now, don't go thinking I am crazy, I don't talk to myself but I am starting to notice my potential. I am actually reaching goals I have set for myself and doing things out of my comfort zone. This blog for example is something I have been wanting to do for a while and I finally just made the decision to do it. Posting the link on Facebook was a HUGE deal for me because it opened me up to the haters. The old me would have never done such a thing becasue I would have been too worried about what others thought. Maybe no one would like it, or read it, or thought my writing sucks. Well, maybe there will be someone who doesn't like it, or maybe my writing does suck but you know what? That's okay.
There will always be haters in the world. I am learning to embrace them. The only thing that really matters is how much you believe in and love yourself and I, for the first time, truly believe in myself.
I am lucky to have people in my life who are so supportive and loving. Now I can add one more person to that list...ME!
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Monday, January 24, 2011
The Very First
About three months ago my husband Luis and I decided that we needed to make a change. At the rate we were going there was no way we would have long, healthy lives or see our children get married and have children. The scary part about this decision was that we have made this decision before, many times before. It was always, "we'll start Monday." I lost count of how many Mondays came and went and still no changes were made.
A little over two years ago Luis had a heart "scare." He was at work and started having chest pains. Long story short, he had extremely high blood pressure, and slight blockage in one of his arteries. That was a huge wake up call for us both. I did some research, got rid of all the junk in our pantry, and bought healthy food. In all the research I did it seemed like most of the sites I went to said that 1200 calories a day and one hour of cardio 5 days a week was what we needed to do in order to lose weight. So thats what we did. Boy did we lose the weight and fast! I lost 50 pounds in 12 weeks and my husband last 80 pounds in 16 weeks. We were both so excited about how we looked! This all happened right before summer. Neither one of us was at our goal weight but we got so consumed by the summer parties, the yummy appetizers, and delicious cocktails that we got off course. The weight came back and then some. With that the sadness came. The happiness I felt was gone. I was so embarrassed. I felt ashamed. I could only imagine what people thought. Everywhere I went I felt people were talking about me and all the weight I had put back on. I was miserable.
Fast forward...
July 2010 we moved from Illinois to Arkansas for my husbands job. We moved away from our family and friends which was very hard. I was excited to start new and become closer as a family unit and nervous about what was to come. My weight was always on my mind I just kept pushing the thoughts away (stuffing them away with food).
The "weight loss" talks started occurring more and more often between my husband and I. We both wanted to lose weight so badly but we were both so nervous about how to do it becasue we failed last time.
We took the leap of faith and started our Journey in October 2010. The first week I lost 8 pounds and my husband lost 10 pounds. We were thrilled! We were still unsure about how many calories we should be eating and what kinds of exercises we should be doing so we decided to arm ourselves with a personal trainer. We discovered BodyWorks in Bentonville, AR http://www.workurbody.com/. The owners of Bodyworks and their personal trainer Brian Camp, saved our lives. We have learned so much about nutrition and exercise. The reason we were not successful the last time we tried to lose weight was because we weren't eating nearly enough or exercising the right way. Since joining Bodyworks, I have lost 34 pounds. This time I am losing actual fat. My endurance has increased tremendously and I am able to do things that I have never been able to do before.
I have a long road ahead of me still but I am so excited to be on this road.
With each pound I shed a new me is being revealed. I am a little more confident, more happy, and more excited about life. In the blogs to come I will share information, recipes, thoughts, and much more. If there is anyhting I can help you with feel free to ask.
I am here for you...
A little over two years ago Luis had a heart "scare." He was at work and started having chest pains. Long story short, he had extremely high blood pressure, and slight blockage in one of his arteries. That was a huge wake up call for us both. I did some research, got rid of all the junk in our pantry, and bought healthy food. In all the research I did it seemed like most of the sites I went to said that 1200 calories a day and one hour of cardio 5 days a week was what we needed to do in order to lose weight. So thats what we did. Boy did we lose the weight and fast! I lost 50 pounds in 12 weeks and my husband last 80 pounds in 16 weeks. We were both so excited about how we looked! This all happened right before summer. Neither one of us was at our goal weight but we got so consumed by the summer parties, the yummy appetizers, and delicious cocktails that we got off course. The weight came back and then some. With that the sadness came. The happiness I felt was gone. I was so embarrassed. I felt ashamed. I could only imagine what people thought. Everywhere I went I felt people were talking about me and all the weight I had put back on. I was miserable.
Fast forward...
July 2010 we moved from Illinois to Arkansas for my husbands job. We moved away from our family and friends which was very hard. I was excited to start new and become closer as a family unit and nervous about what was to come. My weight was always on my mind I just kept pushing the thoughts away (stuffing them away with food).
The "weight loss" talks started occurring more and more often between my husband and I. We both wanted to lose weight so badly but we were both so nervous about how to do it becasue we failed last time.
We took the leap of faith and started our Journey in October 2010. The first week I lost 8 pounds and my husband lost 10 pounds. We were thrilled! We were still unsure about how many calories we should be eating and what kinds of exercises we should be doing so we decided to arm ourselves with a personal trainer. We discovered BodyWorks in Bentonville, AR http://www.workurbody.com/. The owners of Bodyworks and their personal trainer Brian Camp, saved our lives. We have learned so much about nutrition and exercise. The reason we were not successful the last time we tried to lose weight was because we weren't eating nearly enough or exercising the right way. Since joining Bodyworks, I have lost 34 pounds. This time I am losing actual fat. My endurance has increased tremendously and I am able to do things that I have never been able to do before.
I have a long road ahead of me still but I am so excited to be on this road.
With each pound I shed a new me is being revealed. I am a little more confident, more happy, and more excited about life. In the blogs to come I will share information, recipes, thoughts, and much more. If there is anyhting I can help you with feel free to ask.
I am here for you...
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